


take my hand, hold the trigger

by Zillabird



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gun Kink, Insecurity, Internalized Kink Shaming, Kink Shaming, M/M, Praise Kink, Threats of Violence, Trust Kink, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 11:18:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11735970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zillabird/pseuds/Zillabird
Summary: In their line of work, a thing for guns isn't the safest. Fortunately Dick has someone he can trust to take care of him.





	take my hand, hold the trigger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IMightwing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IMightwing/gifts), [geckoholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geckoholic/gifts), [samaelstoker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samaelstoker/gifts), [Volavi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Volavi/gifts), [chronicallyHaughty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronicallyHaughty/gifts).



> Some clarification!!!!
> 
> First of all, the unsafe sex tag is due to them bringing in a LOADED GUN during sex. This is not remotely safe and should not be done except for in the safety of fiction. Please never treat guns with anything less than respect and caution. Second, the threats of violence tag is Jason threatening Dick. However, these threats are more in an attempt to prove a point than they are to actually threaten Dick.
> 
> Finally, a group of JayDick shippers encouraged me to write this so this fic is dedicated to them. If I forgot any of you, please let me know.

Jason treated guns like an extension of himself and rare was one who could give him a run for his money with his chosen weapon. Dick knew of several talented firearm experts, some even better than Jason, but few with the exceptional restraint Jason showed.

Less restraint than Bruce might have liked but remarkable restraint when it was taken into consideration that Jason _had_ the guns and still managed to use them as rarely as he did. They weren’t tools of self-defense. If that were the case, Jason’s kill count would have been much higher. Instead Jason used them for a last resort execution. Whether Dick agreed with Jason or not, he had to admire Jason’s steadfast determination to keep himself from becoming lost to the power he had at his disposal. Death was easy when you carried weapons that could kill with one careful shot, letting someone live who threatened your own life was much harder.

By the time Dick showed up to the fight it was mostly over. Jason had done some damage with his weapons but none had earned his ire enough to deserve the quick death of a bullet to the brain and so Dick could comfortably watch - with growing discomfort, but not for the blood spilt – without the shame and guilt that dead bodies would have caused. There was blood and the echoing shots of the gun going off were loud but they were nonfatal wounds with low chance of permanent injury. Dick knew that Jason had already alerted Barbara to get an ambulance out here so even the risk of blood loss was very minimal all things considered. Jason was in no danger and the city was in rare form and quiet for once.

He watched as, with every careful shot, every hesitation that could have cost Jason his life but saved the lives of men and women who didn’t deserve to be cut down by Jason’s form of justice, Jason used his skill and training with the guns.

Dick could taste the lingering gun powder on the air. He could smell it. It only served to make his skin tingle and he had to turn away from the scene to feel the cool September air on his skin. He inhaled deeply, the pop of the bullets more distant with his careful breathing. They faded into silence and Dick didn’t realize when they stopped completely until the crunch of gravel alerted him to someone else on the rooftop.

“Having fun?” Jason asked.

The modified voice ruined some of it for Dick who was much more content to picture his sometimes lover whispering husky words in his naturally deep voice. Not enough of it to ease the flush out of Dick’s skin. “What gave you that impression?”

Jason scoffed. “Please, Goldie. I’m not stupid and the helmet doesn’t impede my ability to see by that much.”

Right. Dick could feel the heat in his cheeks and down his neck and that was the most obvious sign, one Jason probably didn’t even need considering that he’d seen Dick in all states of arousal before. “Maybe a little bit.”

“If you were looking for a booty call you should have given a guy some advanced notice,” Jason said. “I’m sort of booked for the night.”

“Disappointing.” Dick flashed a smile. “Tomorrow night?”

Jason’s hands settled on his hips, drawing Dick’s attention down to the holsters there and the guns in them. When he spoke, Dick was pretty sure that Jason was smiling behind the helmet. “Sure, Goldie. I’d ride your ass any day of the week, barring my busy schedule and all.”

“You have such a charming way with words,” Dick said, forcing his gaze back up to the smooth front of Jason’s helmet and the two slots for sight.

“Thought I already gave you a good reason to like my mouth anyways?” And now Dick was _sure_ that Jason was grinning under that helmet.

Dick stepped back. “Tomorrow, Hood.”

“Looking forward to it, Goldie,” Jason said.

In the darkness of his apartment, Dick pulled his sweats down. The cracked window let in a hint of the cool air from the outside and Dick could still taste the gunpowder from earlier on his tongue. He palmed himself in his hand, stroking gently and closing his eyes to picture the way Jason’s hand wrapped around the gun and the familiar feeling of metal against his skin.

~~~

“What are you doing?”

Dick looked up from his backbend on the ground and kicked off. His legs rotated over him and then landed. He straightened and then leaned back, listening to the pop of his back. “Stretching. I thought I told you I didn’t want you smoking in my apartment.”

Jason took the cigarette out from between his lips and tapped it against his finger to drop the orange glowing ashes onto the floor. He blew smoke out in Dick’s face with a grin and then put the cigarette out in the potted plant sitting next to Dick’s window.

Dick pulled the still burning cigarette out of the soil and threw it out the open window into the alleyway below. The damage was probably already done to the plant but, if Dick were honest, it probably hadn’t had much chance of making it anyways. Dick wasn’t home often enough to remember to water it and the leaves were edging with yellow. He waved the smoke out and then shut the window. Jason tossed the red helmet over the back of the couch and it landed on the cushions on the other side with a quiet thump. Jason’s hands settled on Dick’s hips. “You’re in a mood tonight, aren’t you? _You_ asked _me_ to come over, if you remember. And I made time in my busy schedule just for you.”

“I asked you to come over, not to stink up my place with cigarette smoke,” Dick said.

Jason was still wearing his gloves and Dick could smell the gunpowder on them when he cupped Dick’s cheek and rubbed the leather of the glove over Dick’s cheekbone. “I put it out, Dickie. Shut _up_ about the cigarette smoke and let’s get to the good stuff.”

Dick’s breath hitched and he didn’t think before he caught Jason’s glove between his teeth, the slack between the tip of thumb and the inside of the glove between his mouth and lips. It was too late to go back so Dick risked further and licked his tongue over it, enjoying the burst of that same sharp, almost peppery taste of the gunpowder.

Jason’s eyes darkened, pupils dilating, and his tongue slipped between his chapped lips. “Fuck, Dickie. I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I like it.”

Dick let go of the glove and leaned his cheek against the palm of Jason’s hand, inhaling the scent further. His hands slid down Jason’s sides, under the leather jacket and over the thick armor covering Jason’s chest. Lower, down to Jason’s hips, and then settling his hands over the guns in their holsters.

Probably freshly used and that only served to make Dick _weak_.

Jason’s hand left Dick’s cheek and went down to the holsters. His eyes rolled. “I got it, Dickie. The guns go.”

“No,” Dick said, tightening his grip over them. “Leave them.”

“What?” Jason asked.

Dick’s hands never moved, even when Jason’s hands settled over his and the smooth leather of his gloves felt warm and cold at the same time, trying to urge Dick away from the weapons but not pushing. Never pushing. “Leave them on. I want…”

Jason’s eyes narrowed, that rush of arousal from earlier tempered now by confusion and responsibility. His grip on Dick’s hands tightened and teal eyes scanned Dick’s face. Whether he was searching for an answer or running a more thorough visual diagnostic to make sure that Dick was in his right mind, Dick didn’t know. He was sure, though, that he was coming off very confusing. “ _What_ do you want?”

Dick pushed Jason’s hands off and was somewhat surprised that Jason let him. His fingers deftly tugged on the holsters and the resulting snap of the holsters opening to him was so much louder in the quiet apartment. “Use them. Tonight.”

“I did,” Jason said, drawing the words out in a way that said that he knew that wasn’t what Dick meant but also couldn’t quite figure out what it was that Dick actually _did_ mean.

_I did_. The way he said it, so calm and so casual. Like Dick couldn’t practically feel the warmth of the recently shot muzzle against his skin.

“With me,” Dick clarified. “Tonight. In bed.”

Jason’s hand squeezed Dick’s wrist to the point of pain as Dick’s fingers wrapped around the gun and started to pull. “Bennet.”

Dick’s hand opened and he stepped back, eyes going back up to Jason’s. Bennet, after a character in one of Jason’s favorite books. His safe word and the first sign that really made it through Dick’s head that Jason was uncomfortable. “I’m sorry.”

Jason’s hand let go of Dick’s wrist just like that. “I thought you wouldn’t stop.”

“Of course I’d stop,” Dick said. It was a horrifying thought that he’d ever given Jason the impression that he wouldn’t.

Jason shook his head. “I didn’t think it was you. Or, you know, _you_ you.”

“ _Me_ me?” Dick asked.

“Poison Ivy? Scarecrow? Literally any of the bastards in this city that would poison and drug you given the chance?” Jason asked. He took a step back. “You grabbed for the gun and I just… What is this about, Dick?”

Dick should have realized. This might have been about sex for Dick but Jason had just come off a patrol. His guns were _weapons_ and he’d used them several times tonight. They were loaded and dangerous and, coming off that adrenaline rush out there, Jason had come back to someone trying to grab for his weapon. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think that through.”

“Just tell me what’s going on,” Jason said. He pulled his gloves off and threw them onto the end table before crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not saying no, Goldie, but I want more information before you start drawing my weapon.”

Dick dragged a hand down his face. “I want you to bring the gun with you tonight.”

“I got that from you going all kleptomaniac on me just now. _Why_?” Jason demanded.

Dick shrugged one shoulder. “Why do we like any of the things we like?”

“Perhaps because we went through puberty dressed in spandex, following orders, and being tied up,” Jason said, rapid fire to get the comeback in. “But I’m not psychiatrist.”

Maybe that was it. “The gun. That’s… I don’t know, but I want the gun there. I’ve been getting off watching you shoot during patrols and I thought you could come by tonight and we could try it.”

Jason’s eyebrow rose slowly. He was silent for a moment and then, “That’s kind of kinky, even for you.”

Dick flipped him off. “We don’t have to.”

“I didn’t say no,” Jason reminded him. His fingers tapped against his arm as he stood there, however, and then Jason said, “You do realize the danger involved, right? That’s a loaded weapon you want to bring in.”

Something about the way Jason reminded _Dick_ of the safety concerns, the way Jason had to be the disciplined one made Dick’s toes curl where he stood. His voice was hoarse. “Yes, I’m aware.”

The tone must have made it to Jason because he whistled. “It’s really getting to you, isn’t it?”

“I want this,” Dick confirmed.

Jason stared him down like he was waiting for Dick to change his mind and then sighed and stripped his jacket off. “Alright, Dickie. I’ll try anything once.”

Dick’s grin spread. He watched Jason fold the jacket and rest it over the back of the couch. The armor came off next, pieces falling to the side and baring Jason down to the single long sleeve black shirt he wore underneath. It was tight and wet from sweat. Dick walked over, fingers curling around the hem to pull it up and bare the scarred chest of his lover. “Thank you, Jason.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jason warned. He pulled the shirt off the rest of the way and then darted forward a step to scoop his hands under Dick’s thighs and lift him up. Dick wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist as the man stole a kiss, teeth sinking into Dick’s bottom lip and tugging, and then carried him into the bedroom.

Dick landed on the bed, bouncing with the give of the springs. Jason crawled after him, one hand grabbing Dick’s ass and using the grip to pull Dick to meet him. With only sweatpants between Dick and Jason, the older man could feel the zipper of Jason’s pants press against his hard on.

Jason didn’t give him a chance to speak. He covered Dick’s mouth with his own, tongue darting between their lips and pushing in to taste every inch of Dick’s mouth. Like this was the first time rather than a weekly occurrence, like Jason needed a reminder of what Dick tasted like. Their teeth clicked together and Dick’s lips felt battered by the sheer force of the way Jason kissed.

He pressed one hand against Jason’s bare chest and lowered his gaze to Jason’s hip. “Please.”

Jason still looked hesitant but he nodded. He reached down and pulled the gun, checking not once but twice to make sure the safety was on, and then pressed it against Dick’s stomach.

From the moment the metal touched Dick’s skin, Dick was worried he was even going to make it to the actual sex. He was sporting a hard on that could have hammered nails into wood and Jason’s mouth was smothering the groan elicited just from feeling the gun against his skin.

It wasn’t hot but the gun _was_ still warm from use and Dick could imagine all too easily the sound and scent that went along with that.

“Fuck,” Jason mumbled against Dick’s mouth.

Dick canted his hips up, lifting them off the bed to better push them into Jason. “Yes, Jay. Want you to fuck me.”

The gun pressed in harder. It dragged up Dick’s chest, no doubt leaving a red mark on Dick’s skin where the hard metal had been. “You’d let me do anything wouldn’t you?”

“Anything,” Dick breathed.

The gun moved up, catching on Dick’s nipple rough enough to make him whimper, and then the muzzle was digging into the soft skin under Dick’s jaw. “How do you let someone get this much power over you, Dickie? How many people have you trusted with your life?” Dick had to tip his head back and his gut throbbed with the force of the blood rushing south. “You have no _idea_ how simple it would be to kill you like this? Open and willing and defenseless and you asked me to bring a machine designed to kill here. How many, Dickie?”

Dick’s hand groped blindly, finding Jason’s other hand and curling their fingers together to intertwine them. He flashed a small smile. “Only you.”

Jason didn’t react right away and then something colored his eyes. He sneered and dug it in harder. “Bullshit, Goldie. Try spinning your tales for someone else. I want to know how many people you’ve been this vulnerable too.”

“Only you, Jay,” Dick said.

The gun pulled away, stopped digging into Dick’s neck, and Jason let go of Dick’s hand to spread it out over Dick’s chest and shove him down into the bed. Jason sat up and narrowed his eyes at him. “Why don’t you want to tell me?”

Dick missed the intensity from before but he could tell Jason was slipping out of the moment. “I’ve only done this with you.”

“There’s no way,” Jason said. “You’re not stupid enough to try this with me first.”

“What are you talking about?” Dick asked. He reached up, hand rubbing up and down Jason’s arm in an effort to calm him.

“Stop that, Dick,” Jason said, shaking his arm to dislodge Dick’s hand. “What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?”

Dick’s hand dropped back to the bed. “What?”

“I have used this same goddamn gun to shoot at you,” Jason growled. He still had the gun in his hand when he ripped the waist of Dick’s sweatpants down and his thumb dug in over a bullet in Dick’s hip. “I _gave_ you this with my gun.”

“I remember…” Dick trailed off.

“Then what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jason asked. “How much of a dumbass are you that you’d let me pull a gun on you now? I thought maybe you were just fucked in the head, maybe you’re stupid enough to let all your fucking boy toys fuck you and bring a gun in but you just start with the same person who would find it _so damn easy_ to kill you.

“You wouldn’t hurt me,” Dick said. Jason’s finger pressed in over that scar harder. Dick’s hand wrapped around Jason’s wrist to stop him. “You wouldn’t. Not anymore. I trust you.”

Jason ripped his hand back and stood at the foot of the bed. He aimed the gun at him, hard look in his eyes, but Dick didn’t move, didn’t flinch, and Jason lowered the gun with a snarl. “You’re an idiot. What kind of fucked up kink is this anyways? You get off on being shot at every night?”

Dick was past his own shame for his kinks so he didn’t take the jab as hard as he could have. It still hurt, especially coming from Jason. “We don’t have to use the gun if you don’t want, Jason.”

“I could blow your brains out, could shoot you in the lung and watch you suffocate on your own blood,” Jason said.

“You won’t,” Dick said, sitting up.

Jason shoved him back. “You don’t know that.”

“I do. I trust you,” Dick said. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

“I want to!” Jason shouted. He pressed the barrel of his gun against his forehead, frustration evident. Frustration and anger and confusion. “I want to pull the trigger, I like knowing that I have that power over you. You’re so damn stupid, Dick.”

Dick reached up, gently wrapping his hands around Jason’s forearms and pulling them down. He tugged lightly, enough to pull Jason close enough to stand between Dick’s knees. Carefully, Dick took the gun and set it to the side. He let go of Jason’s arms, watching them fall to the man’s sides, and then moved his own hands up to cup Jason’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. We don’t have to do it.”

“Why do you have to be so damn stupid?” Jason demanded.

Dick brought Jason down enough to kiss him and then sighed softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Jason. It’s okay to want to pull the trigger and it’s alright to enjoy the power you get from holding me at gunpoint. It’s okay to feel those things because I know you wouldn’t act on them. Maybe once but not now. You’ve changed and gotten better.”

“How do you know?” Jason demanded.

“Because I trust you,” Dick said.

“Why?” Jason asked.

“Because you haven’t given me a reason not to trust you here,” Dick said. “What happened before was out there and it was different but here I’m safe. I know I’m safe. You wouldn’t take that away from me.” Jason stepped forward, leveraging Dick to tip him back against the bed and lay over him. His hands braced on either side of Dick and leaned forward to kiss him deeply. Dick brushed a strand of dark hair away from Jason’s face. “It’s not about the gun, Jay. It’s not about the weapon. It’s about trust. It’s about letting go and the rush of danger, about letting go and knowing you’ll catch me. That I can put my life in your hands and you’ll keep me safe.”

“Dick-“

“It’s okay to get off on having that power,” Dick said softly. “There is _nothing wrong with you_.”

Jason blew out a breath, the scent of cigarette smoke still on his tongue.

“Nothing,” Dick whispered.

“You trust me too much,” Jason muttered.

“You don’t trust yourself enough,” Dick corrected.

The rustle of the sheets drew Dick’s attention to Jason’s hand, curling around the gun again. Jason checked the safety again. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not,” Dick said. Jason looked dubious, still, and Dick found his hand and squeezed. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Goldie,” Jason said with a sigh.

“Then trust me to trust you,” Dick said. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

Teal eyes looked to Dick almost pained. Nonetheless, Jason’s grip tightened around the gun and then the muzzle was pressing against Dick’s chest again. The metal had cooled by this point but Jason’s eyes were more than heated enough to make up for what was lost.

Honestly, so _little_ had to do with the gun and everything to do with the confident way he held it. Jason might not have been sure about _this_ but he was sure in his ability with the gun. Knowing that, feeling that skill and discipline through the hard metal of the gun, made Dick bite into his bottom lip.

Jason hand cupped Dick’s cheek, thumb working on Dick’s lip to pry it out from between Dick’s teeth. “Don’t.”

“I-“

“Suck,” Jason ordered.

Dick gaped in surprise which was enough opening for Jason to press the tip of the barrel into Dick’s mouth. Heat pooled in his gut and maybe Dick hadn’t ever pictured this during his fantasies but that didn’t mean it wasn’t still _hot_. His lips closed around it, sucking on the metal. It wasn’t the first time he’d had something in his mouth to suck on, far from it, but usually in this situation there was more give to whatever he was drenching with spit. His tongue worked over the muzzle and he had to marvel at how solid the weight was on his tongue.

“You have no idea how hot that looks,” Jason murmured. He pushed it in a little deeper, just enough for the metal to scrape against the top of Dick’s mouth with the threat of pain if Jason got too rough. He wouldn’t but it was the possibility that made Dick shiver. Jason pulled the gun out, a trail of spit hanging from the gun to Dick’s bottom lip. Jason cursed at the sight and then made a show of wiping off the metal on Dick’s cheek.

Dick swallowed, the taste filling his mouth in a way that made it hard to _speak_. “Get lube.”

“Gun lubricant?” Jason asked, with a snort. He must have caught the hitch of Dick’s breath because he scowled. “No, Dick. We don’t even know if that would be safe. It was a joke.”

“Tease,” Dick muttered.

Jason tapped under Dick’s chin with the gun and leaned forward to reach into the end table drawer to come back with lube. He had to set the gun down to slick up his fingers. “Besides, I’m not wasting that shit on your ass. Shit starts getting expensive when you use guns as much as I do.”

Dick rolled his eyes and so was caught unaware when Jason pressed his middle finger into Dick’s ass. Dick grunted and it trailed off into a groan. “Fuck.”

“That’s the idea, Goldie,” Jason breathed.

Jason wasn’t one to waste much time on prep, neither was Dick. There were rare cases, but both of them were more often too wound up from adrenaline to bother building up slowly. Jason’s fingers speared Dick open, stretching him with the faint but pleasurable burn of pushing Dick’s limits just a hair too fast.

“Think you could fit it in?” Dick asked.

Jason’s eyes snapped up and then down to the gun. Dick’s cock twitched visibly and Jason was sporting a painful looking tent in his pants. Those beautiful teal eyes closed and Jason’s fingers _slammed_ into him.

“That’s not fucking… _Jesus_ ,” Jason breathed. The cool metal brushed over the sensitive skin of his cock, under and applying pressure against Dick’s balls. Lower and lower and then it pulled back. He shook his head. “No. We’ll…not tonight.”

Dick nodded. It was a lot. Dick understood that. “Fuck me, Jason.”

“I think I liked you better with something in your mouth,” Jason said. This time when the gun came up to his mouth, Jason put it in so that the long side of the barrel crossed his mouth. His teeth bit down into the metal and then Jason was back to shoving all three fingers into him at once. He cried out, the sound muffled by the gun between his lips, and bucked up into Jason’s fingers. “Less demanding that way.”

Jason grabbed Dick’s wrists, squeezing them tight and slotting himself between Dick’s legs. He could feel Jason’s length pressed up against the crack of his ass and then Jason moved to stretch his legs wider and guide himself into the tight heat of Dick’s ass.

Jason wasn’t small by any means and the girth made Dick bite down harder on the gun in his mouth. He could feel drool gathering in the corners of his lips and then slide down his cheeks. The hands were back around his wrists after that, squeezing and keeping them pinned down to the bed. It took careful rutting, small snaps of Jason’s hips, to bury himself into Dick. Lips pressed against Dick’s neck and teeth dragged over his pulse. “So much trust in me. Gonna show you, Dickie. I’m gonna show you I’m worth that.” His teeth locked over Dick’s neck and bit down hard enough for imprints, bruises, and Dick shivered again.

Dick wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to prove anything that Dick already knew. The gun kept him quiet. Dick could only moan when Jason’s insistent thrusts rocked him up the bed and rubbed over his prostate.

The gun was pulled out his mouth, hitting the back of his teeth with enough force to make his jaw ache. It was soothed by the kiss that Jason placed against his mouth instead.

The gun settled into Jason’s hand again and then dug into Dick’s ribs. He arched off the bed and Jason shoved him back down with his free hand. “So close, Dickie. I want to feel you squeeze around me first.”

Dick whined, past words at this point.

“You can do it, Dickie,” Jason whispered. The gun slid down Dick’s side, digging in the whole way. “You’re gonna do it for me, aren’t you?”

Dick nodded, free hands now wrapping around the back of Jason’s neck.

“That’s it. Need me to touch you, Dickie?” Jason asked. Dick nodded again. “Need me to touch you or do you want me to touch you with _this_?” The words came with the gun, metal wet and heated from Dick’s mouth on it, pressing against the base of his cock.

It was too much and somehow everything he’d wanted, and Dick came screaming Jason’s name and squeezing down on Jason’s cock still hammering in and out of him. The gun was set down after that, Jason sensing his own impending orgasm and realizing the danger even then.

God, that discipline made Dick wish he could get hard again already.

Jason settled his hands on Dick’s hips this time, squeezing and then stilling inside Dick before orgasming. The wet, heat of his release made Dick feel all sorts of warm himself. Jason’s mouth settled back on his, tongues tangling together. Jason rested his head against the bed next to Dick’s head. “You taste like my gun.”

Dick turned his head and chased Jason’s mouth again, leaving the sharp taste of metal and gunpowder on Jason’s tongue.


End file.
